there can be only one...

I was apprehensive. You took away my fear, healed my heart and held me close. I couldn't run, I didn't run... Only because I chose you first...

Its funny how love meets. No, lets say... How 2 people get fatally attracted to each other...
It happens at all the unexpected places, at the most unexpected timings, and... in the weirdest situations...

You smiled. I said hi.
mmm.. that felt good

if being without love was a vacuum, I think I lost control. Its the blinding thought of being free, something without resilience, something which I was unfamiliar



... intelligence
... cuteness
... interesting
... emotional
... above all, security through pure faith.



rewrite a chapter that was broken. redo a life that was shattered. recreate a future that was lost...
In love we trust.
In trust we hope.
In hope we believe.
In believing, we have love.

Just between you and me, I never ever want to be apart... ever again....


*hugs tight*

Happy 1000th Birthday!! xD

Lol.. My dear's Korbat has reached 1000 days.... xD

Evil Cramps and Homophobes.

I'm feeling evil. Really evil.
I think its because of all the muscle cramps.

damn muscle cramps.

I can't believe my muscles are taking so frigging long to recover. Its well over 24 hours already and it still aches.

arrgh. Even walking down stairs pose a threat to my very survival. JEEZ.

Bah. I've been relatively ok with my schedule on Monday, but broke down by Tuesday. Woke up with a backache, sore quads, aching biceps. Everything.

How to even be motivated to go downstairs to run?

And, to worsen everything. I had half a tub of Ben and Jerry's, no big thanks to dear.

=/

*grins* at least it was good.... aphrodisiac.

damn. Thats 32 x 9 x 4 = 1100+ calories. (*muted scream*)




anywayz, not too long ago, me and alvin were at Cathay, holding hands, minding our own very intimate business....
.. when a group of homophobic nerds/gangsters suddenly pointed and exclaimed, "LOOK!! GAY!!"
*cough*

I felt like screaming back at them, "You just born yesterday ah! Never seen before ah!"

.. but then again, I was feeling really lethargic, so I didn't wanna pick a fight.

However, those homophobic retards kept tagging/spying/chasing us across the entire shopping complex.
It was cheap thrill at first, but it got really irritating, especially when they didn't have any skill at all to spy.

And the worst part? They scared my dear.

If I were in a bad mood that day, I would have seriously beaten them up. Bloody homophobic voyeurs... =/


Seriously, whats up with homophobes nowadays? Being homophobic is like so... yesterday *roll eyes*.


=P

okie, gtg le... my dear call me le....

Andrew's Anti-Slack Solution.

Arrgh. I'm feeling like uber unhealthy... =/
Ever since I stopped working, I'm unable to access the 24hr free gym, just 2 mins away from my desk...

*screams*

I NEED TO GO TO THE GYM!!!

*suffer from withdrawal symptoms*

This is bad.. sigh, at least.... I REALLY dont have anything to do nowadays... I've played Titan Quest until I'm like... umm.. quite sick of it already.. haha (sorry Kai Wen)..

... and I've been playing DoTA a tad too much also...

Bah.

Thus, from tomorrow onwards, I shall
1) Go to the gym at least 3 times a week
2) Run 2.4 km (at least) on the days when I'm not at the gym
3) Swim X laps (where X is the number I swim until I happy) on days when I'm sick of running
4) Do 100 push ups in the morning, and 200 at night.
5) Do X crunches (where X is the number where I can last) as frequent as possible.

But then again, I really dont feel like going to the gym when my brothers go...

It just feels damn weird doing my cyclic routine with them around... I'd most likely end up talking to Victor or Nicholas.

bah. Thats why I prefer gymming alone. I really feel uncomfortable exercising around them... (on top of having to tolerate Nicholas shouting "ah-hah. NOOB.")

Oh, yah. I need to stick to a 2000 calorie diet, daily. Low carbs, high protein! =)

Jeez. umm...

I even considered waking up early in the morning to learn how to do Tai Chee from the master downstairs... but then again, 6 o'clock is waaaayy to early for me to wake up.... beauty sleep matters!

yup yup.. plan plan plan plan...
... since I can only meet Alvin at 4:00+ everyday, that means that...

9:00 - wake up/stretching routine
10:00 - breakfast.
10:30 - play ONE game of DoTA (of course, if I lost then I'm entitled to one more. =p)
12:00 - 1:30 - hit the gym (or running)
1:30 - 2:30 - hit the pool (*if there is additional energy after running, if not, just tan! xD)
3:00 - Lunch
4:00 - Meet Alvin.

Perfect!

x)

hmm.. seriously I wonder if I'll actually stick to my schedule... I really want to. Playing computer games - alone, is totally pointless, a waste of time, physical and mental energy.

okie.

now to calculate the calories.
: If I were to live a moderately active lifestyle, that would make my default calories burnt per day to be 2000.
If I swim 30 laps - 300 kcal
If I run 2.4 KM - 250 kcal
If I do 10 x 12 squats - 150 kcal
If I do failing bench presses - 200 kcal
If I do 10 x (2x6) curls - 150 kcal

on average, I'd burn approximately ((300+250)/2)+ 150 + 200 + 150 = 700 calories.
minus down time, 700 - 20% = 560 calories.

my total calories burnt per day would be 2560, minimum, if I stick to my routine.

My %body fat = 17% currently.
Goal by July = 12%.
Goal by August = 9.5%
Goal by Sept = 8%

I cannot afford to slack during this period when I'm not working.... Must train must train must train!!

urgh....

You know a plate of Char Kway Teow contains 1200 calories? (*for those of you who are traumatized after reading this, the author is in no way responsible for the loss of business for hawkers.)

hmm.. I'm also going to participate, for the firs time in my life, the Army Half-Marathon on 26 August... Hope I'll have enough p'war to run 12 km non-stop by then...

=/

Alvin said a traumatizing thing to me the day before.

Andrew is still traumatized.

He poked. and said, "xxxx xxxxx xxxxxxxx xxx xxxxxxx xxxx"

and Andrew gave a look of utter horror. (bg - "1980 psycho thriller music plays)



blah.
this is still a very noob training schedule... most amateur bodybuilders would laugh at my training schedule... =/

but then again, I'm an ASPIRING amateur bodybuilder, not even one yet. So maybe I might laugh at my own schedule one day too...

but for now, all I know is that I must develop and maintain a healthy lifestyle habit.

I'll prove that you don't need army training to be as tough as you need to be.

=P






I could be your hero baby,
I could take away the tears,
I would stand by you, forever...
You just take my breath away...

-7619494-

Put the number said depending on the question. At the end it will look like a number then type it in the subject line.

Put 9
-------------------------------
Next number put what you are

1- Single but not available
2- Taken
3- Confused
4- Single
5- taken and Happy
6- single but u know your going to get
together
7- Taken and in Love
8- Want Someone Just Dont Know Who
9- Have a Crush
0- Just Dating
-------------------
Next number put your current Mood

1- pissed off
2- Sad
3- Confused
4- Afraid
5- Excited
6- Bored
7- Happy
8- Sleepy
9- Stressed
0- depressed
---------------------
Next Number is The color of your shirt
-
1- Black
2- Yellow
3- Orange
4- Pink
5- Blue
6- Green
7- White
8- Brown
9- Purple
0- Red
-------------------------
Next Number is the month you were born
in

1- Jan. or Feb.
2- Mar.
3- April
4- May
5- Jun. or Jul
6- Aug.
7- Sep.
8- Oct.
9- Nov.
0- Dec.
---------------
Next Number is your Fave Color

1- Black
2- White
3- Pink
4- Blue
5- Other
6- Purple
7- Yellow
8- Orange
9- Red
0- Green
-------------------------
Next Number is your fav sport

1- Soccer
2- Basketball
3- Wrestling
4- Baseball/Softball
5- Cheerleading
6- Football
7- Volleyball
8- Lacrosse
9- Swimming/Waterpolo
0- Motocross
------------------
Last number is your Sign

1- Aries
2- Leo
3- Sagittarius
4- Taurus
5- Capricorn
6- Gemini
7- Libra
8- Aquarius
9- Cancer or Virgo
0- Scorpio or Pisces

Post-mortem Musing

the chalet is over... =/
haha.... I had lots of fun in the chalet though, guess the $200 thrown down the drain wasn't wasted after all...

its funny, that I'd sacrifice three big events just to come for this chalet..

1) My dad's birthday
2) My poly class gathering
3) My ex-company's birthday event...

I'd wonder if it was actually worth it, overall..

Thanks to Bastian and Timothy for helping me organize the chalet, and of course, the grand mamasan, Newbiez for the financial aid... x)




I'm not alone,
I'm never alone...
Love never waits, like time and tide.
A heart, once broken can never be sealed back properly again...

I love you,
I need you..
I could walk this world with you,
... one step at a time...

Its no longer a game my love,
Let me, show you the next step....

The Final Moments at STOMP.

I felt like crying.

Not for happiness, or joy, or whatever. My last day at STOMP.

Felt really disappointed and sad, despite putting on a smiley front for everybody...


I really can't believe it, its so hard to believe it.
Yes, its true that I left at a critical moment, but I had proper, valid reason to do so!

I was suppose to quit in March 15th (presumably the date of the first enlistment).
Then I postponed it to April 30th (presumably so that I can have a nice holiday during my birthday).
But in the end I postponed it to JUNE 15th.

Something serious cropped up, so I had to forward the date by 5 days.

FIVE DAYS.

and thats enough to have people bitching about me, glaring at me, feeling "disappointed" at me etc. etc.

FIVE DAYS is enough to show me the true colors of some people I presumed to be "friends".

I feel so damm used.

I thought those people were my friends! No. In the end, these people would trade "work" for "friendship", "memories" for "productivity".

I STAYED IN STOMP TO HELP OUT.
(yes. And get experience as well, but I hell as day don't need STOMP to get experience.)

Its like WTF lah.

I get paid $680 a month, while most of my friends who're working are earning $1680 a month.

I work >44 hours a week, with pretty pathetic overtime pay.

THERE IS NO OTHER REASON WHY I SHOULD CONTINUE ON EXCEPT THAT :

I STAYED IN STOMP TO HELP OUT.

Now that there're TWO more new interns, my job here is done.

I should have quit a long time ago. But I stayed to orientate the interns.


Finally, the thing that flipped me out the most was :
*screams*
I DID NOT BEG TO STAY ON AT STOMP!!!!!!

ARRRGH!!!

WTF
WTF
WTKNNBCCBF!!


You'd go all the way out to put me down, just because I left 5 days earlier?

I feel like some sort of tool, when it gets dysfunctional, you curse and throw it away.

I'M A BLOODY HUMAN OK?

AND I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE MY FRIEND.



ok. I should have known better.



serious.




sigh...
But there were still my beloved AV producer team and some of the rest who did remember that today was my last day, and celebrated for me at Marche.
Could tell that the air was still pretty tense though...

I'm really sorry that I can't stay for a few more days, coz next week its a very important week for me...

Jeanette, Stanley, Jacen, Kai Wen, Adrian
Jasmine, Wei Zhen, Darryl, Mas, Desiree, Ishmael
and the rest of the interns...

Really, thanks for remembering me and saving me from the brink of tears...

... nine months at STOMP, I'd guess that there'd be a bigger bang then this..

never guessed that some people treated me as a tool...




seriously, how many people can take earning $45 a day? Even my younger brother earned more then me for a period of time.

I love my friends, especially the AV team, thats why I stayed on to help out.

I've stayed on longer in STOMP then some of the pioneering team, but I guess, being an imaginary "intern", my name wasn't even worth mentioning.


... only bitching.


Thanks for teaching me a lesson. Friendship and work are 2 separate things. Without friendship, there can be work, but without work, for some, there can be no friendship.



sometimes... people tend to forget any good you ever did...

Gender Incrimination.

There can be only one.

Its funny, when you're single... suddenly the world changes to a weird dimension. You're suddenly given an explosion of freedom and self-depreciating novelties.
Some people adore you, others hate you.

Some people hug you from behind, others bare their fangs.

Its a beautiful disaster...

Just the other day, I was at club "x" (lets call it X, cause I don't like that place either). I was queuing up to get an entry (btw, Andrew DOESN'T queue up for entry. He doesn't like it), and then a 30+ year old haggard ah lian walk in front of me and cut my queue.

No. It wasn't like I was looking elsewhere besides my queue,
Nor did I give the impression that I was letting up my position.

So. I tapped her shoulder and said, "The back of the queue is *dramatic pause* - ...over there."

She appeared stunned, so I decided to once again proceed telling her the location of the end of the queue.

However, before I could say anything, she screamed,
"AIYOH, you see lah, you see lah, like that also don't want to give way to girl hor. Like you men in front very big hor, you ever heard of '*insert chinese quote: which apparantly means something like 'gentlemen should let ladies go first*'... wait hor, you no girlfriend, no girl wants you, I see you also want to '*insert vomiting finger action*'.

By the time she almost completed her last sentence, my fingers were desperately itching to punch her face.

But instead, ME, Andrew, decided to show mercy to a girl. (*the heavens are alive with angelic choruses*).

I didn't smash her upturned nose, and instead said,
"First, I have no interest in girls like you, nor is it in my vaguest desires to have a girlfriend. Second, I don't give way to girls, especially to the irks of you. Thirdly, if you don't move behind me, I'll give all the girls behind me priority first, before you. Fourth, I'm NOT a gentleman. - Get behind."

She mumbled some stuff about how guys these days no longer care about girls, and proceeded to suck my butt. Not before pointing the middle finger at me and cursing.

Bloody hell.

heh.

*chill*

Hmm... Once again, I declare that in my own moral code that I write up for myself,
Section 5c, rights of sexes, part 1
- Women are no better then men.
- Men are no better then women.
Any partiality shown is a privilege.

Hence summarizes my view towards gender "discrimination".

I think women who think that men should treat them like queens should all get acne, saggy skin, eye-bags, damaged hair, discolored skin and constipation.

WOMEN, IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO RESPECT YOU, EARN IT.


hmph. For some particular reason, after 1 week plus, the recollection of the incident doenst irk me so much as it did in the beginning.













Close your eyes,
Give me your hands,
Can you feel my heart beating,

... do you understand?...

Gravitation

"Love is like gravity, inescapable and inseparable. Have you been in love before Sakano-san? Only then would you know."

- Tohma, Leader of Nittle Grasper (Gravitation)

Zero gravity. When we break out of the shell of gravity and float aimlessly...

You only know how to love, when you know how to hate.

Loneliness.

Not really into the mood of blogging recently...

sigh... wonder whether my interest in blogging is starting to fade into oblivion.

=/

It sucks, and its hell lonely alone in the living room using the computer. When both my brothers are permanently stuck in the room using their own computers...

At least they have each other to laugh and keep company. . .

outside, its just the computer and me. And its getting hell of boring.


sigh.

another 10 more days and I'll be leaving SPH for good.
and... the sad part is, I think that I'd be leaving on a bad note...

Its like.... I think they believe that I'm abandoning them for the chaotic week of 10-15th of June...

But I dont really have a choice, I guess.. coz I already have a chalet on the 12-14th of June also..

ARRGH...

I doubt I'd even get a decent appraisal...




sigh..




I keep thinking of him over and over again...
On the train, in the bus, on the bed and in my dreams...
One sweep, the winds of time changes.
Two sweeps, the hearts of men changes.
Three sweeps, and I'll take you away, far beyond what the world can give.

I love him.

I guess...

But who is to say?...

I've lost most of my faith in "love" already........

... then again, make me believe once more.